I love people that are constantly making you want to feel better about life. The kind that make you want to be a better person for tomorrow. That make you strive to be more like them in a way where you’re more like God. Not trying to put them in a special box where they’re compared to God. Just where they make you a better deal, because quite frankly everyone looks up to someone. Everyone has that role model, that special person that they want to be like. For instance parents; are a great example of someone who should be a good role model for their children. But what if that person that strives you, is also the person that brings you down? What if you’re trying to be a better you, but by doing that, you are making yourself look not as good? You down yourself, every day, by day, after day. But the spiritual normal makes you feel like that is what you were meant to do. Because in every single book, in every single lecture, and every single spiritual round there’s someone telling you that you need to turn your cheek, or not stand up for yourself. God specifically said that we are to love one another like we want to be loved. In this day and age that’s pretty hard, Because no matter how many times were told to just turn our cheek and be just like God there’s a part of us that wants to fight back. That makes us want to give in to the social normal. Because that’s the life that we live every single day. We all say that we don’t want to be just like everyone else, but we are always doing what everyone else does. What is instead of finding that ounce of jealousy, what if instead of finding something wrong with someone and not liking them for certain reason we love them no matter what? What if we understood that we also have issues in our lives, we also make mistakes, we also have bad days? And maybe just maybe, that’s what God meant? That maybe when you talk to the person in line at Walmart and gave them five dollars, they have use that five dollars to put towards the bill that someone else made for them. That just like yesterday when you woke up grumpy and said something rude to someone at the store they also woke up grumpy today. Not everyone’s perfect, that’s why were human.
A black hole is…
When you look at me you see nothing….
No. No. No.
What I mean to say is, I’m lost. You know those alien movies? Where they’re put here, on earth, as a human and they don’t know where they’re from? Superman, that’s who I’m talking about. Except there’s no one to tell me I’m from an old planet where the kings could have ruled over humans a thousand times, where the gold was draped over roads, and where I knew who I am. There are glimpses, short memories, pages of chapters turned without my consent. I need to wright it all out. So I will, and unless you’d like to read my odd story, I would delete this page. This is the start upwards. I see the light, and I’m reaching for it.
When did I become like this? After you. How did this stress happen? From you. You try to change everything that I am. But it was you. I never asked you to lie to me. About everything. Literally. Scream at me all the time… When I’m just trying to talk. Isn’t that great. Just like my father, so irate. Depression killed the cat, not sleep, not gossip, not anything but it’s own damn luck. This world is tough, I’m done being the bad guy. I just want to be the best mother I can.
I try to make myself happy.
I obviously don’t deserve it.
I know that sounds kind of sappy.
But I kind of just learned it.
Because I need to forget my emotion.
Like a day forgets the light.
Where may I find the potion.
To turn my day into my night.